Great news, everyone! I just checked my email, and it turns out there's a ton of exciting opportunities awaiting the Kingdom of Talossa!
- Our HR Department (which I didn't know about) has emailed to let us know that our salary has increased, and we just have to log in and confirm that we want more money.
- Bank of America and Wells Fargo both want to let us know that our credit line has increased, we have unclaimed funds, we're in danger of losing unclaimed funds, and there's suspicious activity on our card. We just have to click the link and log in, and we'll be rich.
- Various people have sent us invoices, product catalogs, offers of employment, offers to develop new apps with us, and other opportunities.
- A wealthy man in Nigeria is trying to get his money out of the country, and he'll cut us in for almost all of it, as long as we're willing to help him with the wire transfers.
Just wanted to let everyone know about the fantastic opportunities waiting for us.