Quotebe amended by addition of the bolded text anddeletion of struck-through textas follows:
Structuring the bill like this makes the meaning of the text dependent on the formatting. It might be preferable to structure it as "Lex x, which currently reads: [...] be amended to read [...]"
QuoteIf the Immigration Minister considers that this essay shows an insufficient understanding of or interest in Talossa and what Talossan citizenship entails.
"Insufficient" here is undefined and very open to interpretation. Insufficient for what? What bar needs to be cleared here? I would recommend somehow making this a bit more specific or at least define for what purpose the understanding needs to be sufficient.
QuoteThe Ministry of Immigration shall [...]put them in touch with Talossan citizens who are identified by the Ministry as being able and willing to help them pursue those interests.
One of the interests listed (and which will be selected quite frequently I suspect) is politics. To help a prospective citizen pursue a political career seems dangerously close to broosking and this clause to me reads like an open invitation to do so.
My recommendation would be to address these points before passing the bill.