Introducing Dmytro Kuts

[Miestră Schivă, UrN-GC]

Ministry of ImmigrationIMMIGRATION APPLICATION

Application received	20 June 2025
Wittenberg account approved	21 June 2025
First Witt Post	---
Eligible for Petition	---
APPLICATION OUTCOME	APPLICATION ONGOING

Official notes:

The Ministry of Immigration, using information provided in the application and after investigating to the best of its ability, is satisfied that this application is Bona Fide.

Applicant Name:
Legal Name: Dmytro Kuts

Wittenberg account name: @RcN_WaW

Gender:Male / He/ Him

Year of Birth: 1991

Location: Calgary, Alberta

Provincial assignment if successful: Florenciă

Why I am Interested in Becoming a Talossan:Your Majesty, Esteemed Talossan Government,

I seek citizenship in the Kingdom of Talossa not merely as a novelty, but as a passionate admirer of its uniquely crafted culture—a realm where wit, creativity, and tradition converge. As a dedicated professional soccer referee, I recognize that every society thrives on fairness, structure, and spirited participation. Talossa's commitment to these principles—through its language, law, and lively institutions—resonates deeply with my own values.

My fascination with Talossan lore (from Benito's revolution to the Pennywhistle controversy) reveals a nation unafraid to blend humor with governance—a rare gem among micronations. But beyond admiration, I offer tangible contribution: I aim to establish Talossa's first FIFA-standard referee training program.

Imagine Talossan teams competing in C\'hätsch (soccer) with homegrown referees trained in:

International rules adaptation for local tournaments

Conflict resolution & ethical decision-making

Cultivating respect between players, officials, and fans

This initiative would mirror Talossa's spirit: structured yet joyful, competitive yet communal. As a citizen, I'd tirelessly promote this—and other cultural projects—to strengthen our collective identity.

I wish not just to wear Talossa's name, but to forge its future—whistle in hand, heart in Beric\'ht.

Respectfully,
Dmytro Kuts

My Special Interest in Talossa:Sports

More About Myself:Your Esteemed Talossan Authorities,

I'm a glazier-in-training by day (transforming shattered panes into crystal-clear windows) and a semi-pro soccer referee by night (transforming chaos into fair play)—with ambitions to officiate at professional levels. To me, life's about clarity and integrity: whether I'm measuring glass to the millimeter or enforcing offside rules in a rainstorm, precision and fairness are my compass.

Why Talossa?
I thrive where creativity and tradition collide—and Talossa's legendary wit (I've chuckled over Pennywhistle archives!), invented language (Mençéi!), and passionate self-rule feel like a kindred spirit. But beyond fandom, I bring tangible Talossan value:

Glazier Hands:

I'll help design stained-glass crests for the Ziu, repair historic pub windows in Maricopa, or build a greenhouse for the Royal Gardens—because every micronation deserves dazzling views.

Referee Ambitions:

Let's launch Talossa's first refereeing academy! I'll train locals to officiate C\'hätsch matches with FIFA-grade rigor—while weaving Talossan humor into the rulebook (e.g., \"Fines paid in Groucho Marx memes\").

My Dream?
To merge worlds: crafting transparency (literally, with glass) and upholding justice (figuratively, with a whistle). In Talossa, I see a place where my trades aren't just jobs—they're ways to fortify a nation that celebrates the quirky and profound alike.

I'll bring elbow grease, quick calls, and a steadfast belief that micronations shine brightest when their citizens build together—preferably over a pint at Beric\'ht after fixing a window.

Respectfully,
Dmytro Kuts
Future Glazier of the Royal Pane & Head Whistle-Wielder of Talossan Football

Where did you hear about the Kingdom of Talossa?Random internet surfing

Have you been introduced to the Kingdom of Talossa by an existing citizen?NO -

Do you have any previous experience with, or membership in, any "micronations"?NO - My Micronation Journey: From Curious Observer to Talossa Hopeful
I'll be honest: I haven't held citizenship in another micronation... yet. Why? Because I've been searching for one that balances wit, depth, and community – a place where creativity is governance. When I discovered Talossa – with its 40+ years of lore, invented language (I've attempted \"Schivâ\" – apologies in advance!), and legendary quirks (the Pennywhistle archives had me cackling) – I knew this was the micronation worth pledging to first.

Why Talossa Stands Apart:
The \"Micronation with Soul\" Factor:

I've spent months reading about others (Molossia's space program, Sealand's pirate radio), but Talossa's blend of parliamentary drama, cultural inside jokes, and genuine civic passion (Ziu debates! Royal decrees!) feels uniquely alive.

Skill-Ready Contribution:

As a glazier apprentice, I'm already dreaming up stained-glass designs for the Cézembre Biergäradhen windows.

As a referee chasing pro-level dreams, I'm drafting plans for Talossa's first refereeing academy – because even micronational football (C\'hätsch!) deserves world-class fairness.

Ambition Alignment:

Talossa doesn't just play nation – it builds it. That resonates deeply. My own ambitions (precision in glasswork, integrity in refereeing) mirror your ethos: craftsmanship, fairness, and a dash of joyful absurdity.

What I Bring as a \"First-Time Citizen\"
Fresh Eyes, Deep Respect: I've studied your history (Benito's kitchen-table revolution!), but I'm not jaded. Every tradition feels exciting.

No Competing Loyalties: Talossa wouldn't be my \"micronation trial run\" – it'd be my only micronational home.

Hunger to Contribute: I'm not here to collect e-passports. I'm here to measure glass for the Beric'ht and blow the whistle at Talossan derbies.

\"Why join now? Because Talossa is the micronation that made me realize: Citizenship shouldn't be a hobby – it should be a heart thing.\"

Is it okay if Talossan citizens contact you by e-mail?YES

Is it okay if Talossan citizens contact you by telephone?NO

Verification and Declaration

Agreed to verification check: YES Link provided:  https://www.facebook.com/dvkuts/ Display links on public immigration profile: No, please do not include these links on my immigration profile

~~~ The applicant has affirmed/sworn, under penalty of perjury in Talossan law, that the information provided in this citizenship application is accurate and true. ~~~

[Miestră Schivă, UrN-GC]

Azul, Dmitry.

Interested to hear more of your thoughts on the Pennywhistle controversy.

[King Txec]

Azul Dmytro,

That's quite an introduction. I love the idea of fines being paid in Groucho Marx memes. I call my call Groucho sometimes because he can be a bit, well, grouchy.

How did you get into glass working?

-Txec R

[M:sr Pôl dal Nordselvă, D.Div, M.Ed]

As far as I know, there was no pennywhistle controversy. Maybe you can enlighten me? As current Attorney General and member if the Royal Family I'm always interested in our past history.

[Miestră Schivă, UrN-GC]

Hey @RcN_WaW , I hope you realise by now that your immigration essay was full of bizarre inaccuracies about Talossan life that seem to have been produced by an LLM. There was never any such thing as a "Pennywhistle controversy" or "C'hätsch". Do you still have any interest in becoming a citizen?

[Miestră Schivă, UrN-GC]

Under the provisions of El Lexhatx E.4, as this prospective citizen has failed to make a first posting to Wittenberg within thirty days of their introduction by the Immigration Minister, the immigration process for the prospective citizen is terminated.

However, I think this immigration application should be preserved forever as a Shining Example Of This Sort Of Thing.